Lost Faith
by Kipcha
Summary: After Story Episode 16 Spoilers Akio is forced into the feeling of helplessness for a second time... And this time, there is nothing he can do to save her.


_A short little drabble on Akio's thought in Episode 16 of Clannad ~ After Story. Beware of major spoilers._

_I don't own Clannad, or it's sequel, After Story... More like it owns me._

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Seconds pass like hours. The snowflakes outside drift of the breeze he couldn't see, and yet he could feel the biting cold all the same. He could hear his daughter, gasping for breath, whimpering in pain every few minutes from the contractions. He considered placing the usual cigarette in his mouth, hoping desperately to calm the frayed nerves that he masked, but couldn't. Nagisa received no relief. He, her father, should receive none as well. So he continued to listen to her labored breathing, Tomoya frantically trying to tell her it was okay, the doctors encouragement, Sanae's silence...

After hours of listening, Akio could no longer take it. Sanae had moved from her spot by the bookshelf and was now helping the doctor, her experienced brown eyes wishing to help her daughter more then anything else. He glanced at Tomoya, his son in law... He hadn't moved from her side, always whispering reassurances and clutching her hands, hoping to bring her some comfort in her word of agony. Yes, Nagisa was definitely in capable hands.

He opened the door and slipped out stealthily, shutting the door silently. Fumbling in his pocket, he pulled a cigarette and lit it, watching to smoke furl through the air and collide with the snow that prevented Nagisa's aid. If only the baby had waited... If only this snow didn't fall... If only...

He shivered, and leaned against the wall. It was deafeningly silent out here, and the bone chilling cool penetrated his clothing. The snowflakes landed and melted, soaking him, but all he felt was numbness. He couldn't shake that terrible feeling that lurked in the back of his mind. Parental instincts, telling him his child was in danger. This time, he couldn't save her. This time, there was nothing he could do. She was in God's hands again, and this time, she may not survive.

He shook his head scornfully, ashes falling from the end of his light. He shouldn't be thinking like that. Nagisa and Ushio would be fine. Definitely.

A familiar shrieking cry rang from inside. A cry he had heard many times through the night all those years ago, and he flew back into the apartment, gazing at the baby that now lay in Sanae's hands, tiny and pink. Despite the situation, a small smile came to his face. This was what being a parent was all about...

He watched the baby be passed into Tomoya's hands, and he noticed the boy seemed confused, dazed. The first time he had seen an expression like that on the boy. He couldn't help but smirk lightly. Yes, that was certainly the look of a new parent.

Downright terrified.

He turned to Nagisa, and Akio followed his gaze, jolting slightly. Nagisa... She looked so pale... So weak... Something was wrong.

Sanae had not looked like that, he recalled. She had been tired, yes. But she had sat upright, grasping Nagisa in an impossibly gentle embrace, and her and Akio's joy had been known throughout the hospital.

Nagisa could barely open her eyes.

While Sanae and the Doctor bolted up like deer before a predator, Tomoya remained entranced by Nagisa, grasping his newborn baby girl. He didn't notice the life slowly draining from her... Didn't want to notice...

He followed the doctor and Sanae to the phone, and heard the doctor talking frantically to whom he assumed were her peers.

"Come now! Her life is at stake, I can't do it alone! We need an ambulance, get here as soon as possible!" Her voice was frantic. He began to feel his muscle quake, and his legs couldn't support him. He glanced over at Sanae, who was wearing an equally frantic look, gazing at Akio for a moment before turning back to her daughter.

_Protect her! Save Nagisa! Please, dear God, please!_

Time passed. Seconds felt like hours... Nagisa was fading fast, and Tomoya was delusional, completely dead to the world other then Nagisa... They weren't going to make it in time...

_Protect her! You're her father! What are you doing, you must save her!_

"Nagisa!" Sanae whimpered, and the tears in her voice snapped Akio into action. Her eyes... She knew...

He flew out the door, slamming it against the wall as he raced outside.

"Damn it, the doctors aren't here!?" No red lights flashed... No ambulance... They weren't coming...

_Save her... Save her! SAVE NAGISA!_

"We still can't use the car?" The doctor was obviously trying to hold herself together, but she was beginning to lose control. Her patient was going to lose her life... His daughter was going to lose her life...

_SAVE HER DAMN IT! YOU'RE HER_ _FATHER!_

"NAGISA!"

With that single cry of anguish, that cry that came from inside... That cry that came from Tomoya...

His world came crashing down around him.

And for the second time in his life, he lost control and truly cried.

* * *

_Probably the first series that genuinely made me cry. How could you not, it's such a realistic situation, you can't help but really feel for each and every character._


End file.
